I don't know the right adjective. This week has been a rollercoaster. Not a bad one. I have been up. I have been down. I have been all around.
More on all of that later. Maybe.
Today I went and worked with my senior students at Feed the Children. I was in charge of helping take care of/breaking down excessive cardboard. I would be lying if I said I didn't make obstacle courses and airplanes out of what I was charged with breaking down. But my day started with painting. Before 8AM. And donuts. I don't even like donuts. But I have no self-control. Before this working with the senior class.... I taught one class and covered another for a colleague, who I love dearly, who needed to be away from campus this morning.
In my class, Literature & Spirituality, we talked about MLK and the Six Steps of NonViolent Social Change and the Six Principles of NonViolence. I have kept both of these things above my desk where I work for the last several years. They mean a lot to me. MLK means a lot to me. I try to live my life based on the principles he taught in terms of social change. The world would be a better place if we all tried to live by these principles. Especially now. I have such a long memory. But collectively we do not. In the class I was covering for a colleague, Juniors were watching A Raisin in the Sun.
This has been a week of facing what is possible. In so many ways. In my current world. And in a possible world. I applied for my dream program for grad school. I was accepted. Despite receiving a five-figure merit scholarship, it is so spendy. Like so spendy. And so awesome. It was my top choice. I am accepted. But there is still a huge financial obstacle. I have been working on figuring that out this week. In most cases, those who are accepted to this program have institutional backing to help alleviate the financial burden. I live in Oklahoma. Financial backing here looks very different when compared nationally. There are so many things I love about living in Oklahoma. And there are so many things people and institutions outside of Oklahoma, including the institution to which I was accepted, simply cannot understand about the complexity of living in Oklahoma. And something about all of this reminds me how much I miss living by the Ocean. Like right there. All the time.
And so, at the conclusion of this week that has had me both beaming with pride and puffy-eyed with tears, I picked up my oldest daughter from school an hour early. She loved it. I loved it. I just wanted her. And she compared it to things like a "mental health day." One extra hour with her mom was the equivalent to a "mental health day." I'll take it. Over and over and over again. We ran errands. We kept track of a few things I needed to keep track of at work. We each had our choice of drink with the addition of boba. It was literally beyond her wildest dreams that I would show up at her school early and just take her with me. And being with her was beyond my wildest dreams as well. My children are beyond my wildest dreams. Even when it's really hard. It's so good to be reminded of this. She just wants me. That's all. Plain ol' me in my messy bun who didn't even take a shower today. I was the best thing that could have happened for her. And she was the best thing that could have happened for me.
In addition to the Principles of Nonviolence, I keep something else above my desk. It's a portion an article the New Yorker did with Toni Morrison. It goes like this:
1. Whatever the work is, do it well—not for the boss but for yourself.My real life is with my family. And anything else can only be see as an extension of how much value I place in my home.
2. You make the job; it doesn’t make you.
3. Your real life is with us, your family.
4. You are not the work you do; you are the person you are.
My real life is with my family.
My real life is with my family.
My real life is with my family.
MY REAL LIFE IS WITH MY FAMILY.
Amen and amen.
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