When I was in high school, I remember thinking it kind of strange when my friends started passing their mothers in height. I don't know why, it was just one of those surreal moments of growing up. I never passed my mom, but while I was still growing, I had high hopes that I would.
I was going to be 5'11". One inch taller than my tallest aunt. 6' would have been okay too, but I knew I was going to be 5'11". And while it's hard to believe now, I used to be taller than average. In fourth and fifth grade, I was occasionally called Long Legs Lund.
Long legs. Ha!
I stopped growing in seventh grade. Most of my friends passed me in 8th grade, almost all the rest did so in 9th grade. I think it's more normal to go from being short to tall. I went the opposite direction. I was tall, and I ended up being short. I remember feeling self-conscious in the locker room at the conclusion of our weigh-in at the end of seventh grade. I crossed the hundred pound mark - a feat that was ahead of many of my peers. Why is that such an impactful number? Why do 7th graders care how much they weigh? Why did we used to get weighed in gym class? I came in at 5'2 3/4".
My grand total height came that summer. 5'3 1/4".
I grew up only knowing my mom's family, and so many people are really tall. I ended up shorter than everyone. I have 38 cousins on that side. I am number 39 in height. I would be lying if I said I didn't feel cheated. ;)
Meeting my biological paternal grandmother earlier this year gave me a new perspective. She's 5'4". I come by it naturally.
Cora is tall. I keep waiting for her to slow down, but she hasn't even a little bit. Today she took off from the park in my shoes, leaving me her flip-flops. When I put them on, they were so close to my size. I couldn't believe it!
Because I had such a funny awareness of mothers outgrowing their daughters, it seems crazy that my daughter is outgrowing me so quickly! She's just above my shoulder now, and her feet are 2-2.5 sizes smaller than mine still. There's still time.
When I was 10, I got my first pair of "heels." They were a baby 2 inches, with a block heel. They were size 4. (I felt so grown up!) Cora is a size 4-5 depending on the shoe. At 8. I used to wonder if she would be tall and then just stop like I did. But even if she just stop in 7th grade, I think she'll have me beat.
Until she does pass me, though, there is something nice about being able to kiss her on the top of the head without bending over.
There is no place so awake and alive as the edge of becoming. But more than that, birthing the kind of woman who can authentically say, "My soul is my own," and then embody it in her life, her spirituality, and her community is worth the risk and hardship.
I am wife to Jake and mother to Cora and Magnolia. Most of my stories start out with "it's a bit complicated..." Writing is my passion. Time is my constraint - mediocrity my distractor. Life is built from the communal interactions between self, place, and other people. I am a nature lover who is sad when there is no sun. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut or president...and never believe in the expression "when I grow up." I like to dance alone to meaningful lyrics, listen to wind chimes in a soft breeze, search for cicadas making music at dusk, and am mesmerized by lightning bugs on warm summer evenings.