Tis the Season

Christmas was wonderful. I wish I could have spent some of it in Arizona, but it was lovely regardless. Jake and I bought two posters not long after we were married that we finally got to do something with. Jake's dad built frames for them and they're gorgeous. One is of the Statue of Liberty while it's still in Paris and under construction. It's going in our dining room. The other is of the Golden Gate Bridge, ironically, too, under construction, and it's going above our mantle. I couldn't stop starring at them when I saw the finished project.

I've been having a lovely time with Jake. I know I'm going to hate when school rolls around again. He's been playing piano and we've been singing church hymns and Ricky Ian Gordon. We've both been a little bit sick so the RIG stuff isn't at it's best, but I love to just be near him and love on him and talk, talk about everything and nothing and all of the things that we talk about that all the time remind me why he's the one I am supposed to spend my life with.

I have to wear glasses full-time now. I went to the eye doctor and my eyes have crossed the line, however(!), because of astigmatism, I have to wear a special kind of contact, a certain type that you can only get after your eyes have reached a certain level....mine are "one-click" away, so it's glasses "for the next 6-12 months." I had a time when I was looking at frames. I'd never picked anything out that is so permanent. I found a really cute pair that I wasn't anticipating discovering, but I couldn't not get them. I'll post a picture when they're actually in my possession.

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Some People...

My mom told me yesterday that Josh Jeffrey got home from his mission on Thursday. For those of you who don't know (I'm not exactly sure of my audience), I dated Josh for quite a time in high school, he broke my heart. Blah Blah Blah. Anyway, she told me he was back and I was really happy for him. It was weird, however, to think that marriage probably isn't too far off for him. It's strange that he will have little, if anything, to do with the rest of my life, but he made was so much in a certain time in my life. I think about him every now and then, in a more positive light than not (Sorry for anyone who doesn't know the story, it's long and a little twilight zone-ish...it involved me weighing 89 pounds over worry the summer he was "just friends" with a girl I happened to see him kissing in the parking lot one day), and I really wish him the best. My life is so different and wonderful, and I hope he finds someone who is just as good for him as Jake is for me. I hope he deserves someone like that. It feels so good to be in this place. Josh is the only person I've ever hated. It was for a time span of approximately 4-5 seconds where I felt rage like I'd never known...I knew in that time that it was hate, and I wasn't accustomed to it, and hope to never feel it again. "May the road rise to meet him, and the wind be always at his back..."

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4 down

Two finals left to go. Two finals and three essays. I feel REALLY great about 2 of them, pretty good about another, and I have no idea on one. I can never tell how I'm going to do on that professors tests.

Right now I'm wearing a t-shirt that used to be my moms that I've had basically my whole life as a night-shirt. I put it on tonight over two other shirts and it pretty much fits. Yay for Hardware Affaire in Laguna Beach, CA 1984. I'm also not wearing a bra. I don't know why that's important other than I was feeling completely constricted and now I'm not.

I finished reading the Book of Mormon today. Somewhere in the jungle of blogs I said that I was starting it..and now I'm done. I don't really remember how many times this is through. I love it even more every time I go cover to cover. You read and read and it's always such a treat to end up in the last chapter of Moroni...for anyone who wants to read it you can go here:

http://scriptures.lds.org/bm/contents

I hope that if any of you do look into it that you enjoy.

I'm going to freshen up my violin skills over Winter Break...ha, if I make it there. I am making it. I keep getting tempted to grab it down from the top of the closet, but I'll end up spending too much time on it and that wouldn't be good right now....good like writing this right now. Anyway, the only songs I remember in my head from my few years of playing are Mary Had a Little Lamb, Twinkle Twinkle (which means I also know the ABC's as well as Bah Bah Black sheep - how disappointing), I also remember a song called Perpetual Motion. Wow that was a long time ago, before I was even big enough for a full size violin. I'm also going to take a few piano lessons. I still have every intention of being the world's greatest church organist...yeah, that's right.

I still have an hour before I go get Jake and in all honesty, I could have gone to bed a few hours ago. He's playing for a percussion ensemble that rehearses from 9 PM-12 AM. If it wasn't finals week, I would be right there along with him, only usually in the library until it closes...only when it does close, creepy guys approach you with their hands in their pants and then come beside you, light a cigarette and try to make small talk. Thank heavens for cell phones, mom's, and the two hour time difference that existed at the time...and that OCU is a small campus.

I really miss Arizona - my homeland. It's in my blood...The desert is...the desert and the mountains, and the record to hitting rattlesnakes with my car, and the fact that all of them survived. Jake and I might go out for Spring Break. If we are able to, I want to go on two hikes. One to the petroglyphs, and the other to flat iron. I want Jake to know, by being a part of, what is so deep inside of me. I'm glad I got to grow up in such a magical place.

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Survivor and Surviving Finals

Jake and I are in the midst of studying for finals. Bluh. I have four tomorrow! One is comprehensive of the whole semester, two are comprehensive from midterm, and one is just the unit we've been working on, (she breathes a sigh of relief). Jake has a a final that has two prep examples of the essay question that's going to be on the test. One of the questions doesn't even make sense. The way it's worded is like nearly impossible to answer. I feel really bad for that.

Okay, so in the midst of all the studying, I tuned into Survivor. I CANNOT believe that Stephanie didn't win. I was so disappointed. I just don't know how I can bring myself to watch it ever again. I’ve never really even been a big watcher of it anyway, I just really enjoyed her and Rafe. Yeah, so Danni's nice, but Steph totally should have won.

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Thinking out loud

I want to write. Write something, anything. I want to write something that isn't a critical view of George Herbert or F. Scott Fitzgerald, and what possibly could have been a motivating theme in his works. I want to write about what the world is, what it is to me...why can't I? Maybe it's because I'm too busy critically analyzing things I already understand and am forced to sit and consume my time with them. Maybe it's because my mind is so consumed with everyday humdrum things - things that aren't really important - things in which I can find neither beauty nor pain, or anything in between, just things that must be done. I've turned into an unreasonable symbol that I created. Must get good grades, must have good appearance, must not...must not what? Is that it, is that all of them. Are those the two things that I'm completely consumed by? How superficial. I definitely don't have bad grades, but I'm sure they'd be even better if I didn't worry about them so much. I don't do anything more to make them better in my overzealous approach to them, so worrying is a completely unnecessary component.

Stop worrying, stop wondering, start being!

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