Three Weeks

When I wake up in the morning, it will be exactly 3 weeks until we close on Dot. That means that in less than 3 weeks, we need to be packed and have all of our stuff loaded and on its way to California. Now seems like the right time to get packing. I've been waiting for it to feel right.

I've felt my anxiety bubbling up a bit. It started on Sunday. One way I can tell I'm entering into a place of more anxiety is that my thoughts get all scrambled, and I get obsessed with things. Random things. Like swimsuits and dishes and new shoes for my girls. It's so weird. We're getting rid of our Fiesta (basically all of our dinnerware and bakeware). I started looking into replacement options and couldn't stop. Hours and hours and hours. Bone China, Stoneware, Porcelain, modern or traditional, patterned or not, where do the companies manufacture their products, etc. And all I want is simple white everything. I'm making a move toward simplicity really complicated.

I think these obsessions are distractions from the task at hand. I'm idling away so much time on things that don't matter to try and avoid what I need to be doing - packing up this chapter of our lives in this place. I noticed yesterday that my heart was racing. I spent much of today with my hands shaking slightly.

I'm in the middle of transitioning. I still have a fair amount of time in Oklahoma, but because I know the move is happening, I'm really just wanting to get it over with. And in the middle of wanting to move already, I don't want to miss out on the precious time I have left here. I'm hoping that because I realize this, this little brush with anxiety will be short lived. I've had three days of stalling out, and I'm ready to get moving again. I also haven't been sleeping much. That isn't helping.

I'm making a little plan to get rid of the stagnancy.

1. Take a walk everyday.
2. Detach from electronics as much as possible.
3. Perfect my side crow with scissored legs.
4. Engage in as many good conversations with my Oklahoma Lovies as possible.
5. Make it to the temple thrice.
6. Go to bed earlier than I have been.
7. Read Dandelion Wine
8. Get packin'.

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