Sweet Moon Language

About today: The weather was beautiful. I made it to the gym. When I picked up Cora from school, she wanted to ride her bike to Mesta Park. I thought that was a great idea, so we went home, quickly put together a picnic, and went on a little adventure. We saw some friends when we got to the park, we played for a while, and then Cora wanted to keep riding bikes, so she suggested we ride by Mary Bliss's house before going home, and we did. She's a very cautious bike rider. I was following her on my bike with Magnolia in her little bike seat. I was impressed with my ability to stop quickly when she would suddenly come to a halt because of a slightly uneven spot on the sidewalk or something like a dandelion catching her eye. We went home for a few minutes before heading off to a friend's house. Today was Cora's spring parent/teacher conference. One of her school friends lives really close to the school so I asked if my girls could come and play for a bit while Jake and I went to meet Cora's teacher. The conference was wonderful, as always. I love hearing what her days are like in the classroom. She tells me a lot, but her teacher always fills in the gaps. As I was getting back to pick up my girls, they pulled out the power wheels Jeep, and what ensued was quite comical. Abrupt stops aren't reserved for bicycles. Jake was home at 5:15. We had dinner and then a family movie night in our bed. Madagascar was the feature.

For the last two nights, Jake has been reading me parts of the transcript of an On Being episode featuring Father Greg Boyle. Father Boyle is a Jesuit priest and also the founder of Homeboy Industries. ["Homeboy Industries serves high-risk, formerly gang-involved men and women with a continuum of free services and programs, and operates seven social enterprises that serve as job-training sites."] The title of the episode was very fitting: The Calling of Delight. Know now that the main idea is love. There were some things that were really important to hear/read from this transcript.

One of the things he discussed was a mantra he took from an off-broadway play: Now. Here. This. It reminds him to be fully present in the situation he finds himself in. I thought that would be a good mantra for me taking things one day at a time. Being present in the moment. 

Another thing he talked about is kinship. He says he'll never be holier than the people he serves. "And the day won't ever come when I have more courage or am more noble or am closer to God than this 16-year-old gang member sitting alone on his porch." He closes with a poem called "That Moon Language."

Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them, "Love me."
Of course you do not do this out loud, otherwise someone would call the cops.
Still, though, think about this, this great pull in us to connect.
Why not become the one who lives with a full moon in each eye
that is always saying,
with that sweet moon language,
what every other eye in this world is dying to hear?

Reading that poem tonight reminded me of a prayer I said this morning after conquering something I'd been working towards in my yoga practice. It was a prayer of gratitude for the feeling of strength and control I had (yoga is never just about the physical). I prayed that I could continue to be strengthened so that I could be a strength to others. I want to be one with a full moon in each eye. 

Today was a Now. Here. This. kind of day. I spent part of it thinking about some of the things I wrote yesterday and contrasting those anxiety ridden moments with what was before me. Guilt isn't the right word, but I'm not sure what is, and I want to use it to describe what I feel in moments of panic versus most of my time when I know I have a really sweet life and a cute family full of love, and my everydays are completely luxurious compared to most peoples' around the world. I feel God's presence in my life. On my good days, and on my bad ones, too. In addition to balance and letting go, I'm going to work on being more grateful. 

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