My baby is transverse!!!

So normally a transverse baby wouldn't be a reason for celebration, but transverse means she isn't all the way breech anymore. Transverse: Her head is on one side of my tummy, her bottom is on the other, and her back is facing forward. This position will still require a c-section, but it just means that she's a movin' and shakin', and hopefully trying to get ready!! I'm going to do all kinds of things to try to get her to flip around to where her head is down. A lot of it is elongating my torso. This can be our cheer: "Flip down, Cora, flip down (stomp stomp)."

I laid in bed pretty much all day yesterday. I just felt really bad. I think part of it was her trying to move around. I was just really crampy and achy, and extra contracty. (I like how I make up words to suite my need for adjectives.) It started around noon. I held out for a little white before I called my nurse. I wasn't at all hungry, and that it not normal for me. She hooked me up to the monitors to check our my contractions, which were right on top of one another. My uterus would go several minutes without going back down to its baseline, or resting rate. The contractions are measured on a scale from 0-100. I would have a 60-80 contraction on the scale, and then my uterus would only get back down to a 40 and stay there for a few more waves until finally making its way back down. There has also been an increased amount of pressure lower. I'm still 4 cm dilated and 60-70% effaced, but my doctor said the baby feels lower...and my cervix is in a bit of a different spot. Progress? We shall see. I WILL have this baby eventually!!!! I'm glad there's a guarantee in that!

It's supposed to snow today. Jake isn't going to go down to Norman for school. He's going to study this morning and then go to work. I'm relieved. I always worry about him driving anyway...my ritual in the morning on my way to work is to pray for a safe drive for him to and from OU. The fact that there's supposed to be blowing snow when he makes his way back up to work, did not float my boat. Neither did it his. I'm excited to see the snow from the inside. I might be able to take an awesome wheelchair ride to the skywalk...I'm certainly going to try anyway. By the way, riding in a wheelchair one of my least favorite things. Maybe if it was like a cool custom wheelchair...but the ride is anything but smooth. All the ones I've been in here, well, and at the other hospital I was at...it feels like the wheels aren't in sync. One of my bo-cheeks is alternately higher than the other as we make our way through the halls.

I'd like to see if I can get weighed today. It's been a while. I'd lost a few pounds at my last doctors appointment, which was almost 3 weeks ago. That was like a huge sin. I didn't mean to lose anything. I'd been eating just fine - with the exception of less things that aggravate my gallbladder. Anyway. I went from 138 to 136. My concern here is that I've had a few days of just fluids. I was looking at my arm last night and thought it looked freakishly thin for me. I know I'm not too big in real life, but it just didn't look normal to me. Maybe it's because my arms now hang out next to a huge belly. Anything would pale in comparison. I was so going to take pictures yesterday, I got dressed in real clothes and everything, but when it came right down to it, I knew that relaxing was a better option. TODAY! My breakfast just got here...I'm out, yo!

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Pre-term Labor

I got up on Thursday morning with a certain outfit in mind: The grey button-up dress I finally grew into that I received when I was pregnant with Quackers. Instead of my red shoes, I was going to go for black. It was supposed to be cold, so I wanted my black opaque tights. I felt great - I felt gorgeous (two outstanding feelings for pregnant women). Jake gave me a ride to school because Lucy, our Stratus, was at the body shop being fixed at someone ran into her in-front of her house on MLK Night. (Hit and run mind you...out-of pocket to get her fixed...). I got to my classroom and put my stuff down in time to meet Mr. McGlory, the ninth grade principal leaving his office right across the hall. He and I have the same scanning station. All of our students go through a bag check and metal detector upon arriving at school. I gave him a hard time about walking so fast because I couldn't quite keep up. He laughed and slowed down a bit. I went and moved around the bowls of keys and jewelry that the students take off and out of pockets before going through the detector. When it was time to head off to my first hour I went into the bathroom. It was there that I noticed some pinkish-brown discharge. I ran around and asked some women teacher friends about it. They all said that was the first thing that happened to them before going into labor. I went up to my class, and asked the teacher across the hall if she could sit with my kiddos for a second while I called my doctor. She did, but I was just shy of my office opening, so the answering service suggested I call back around 8:15. I waited until my class ended at 8:20. I called and got my favorite nurse who suggested I go into labor and delivery at my hospital just to make sure I wasn't leaking any amniotic fluid. I gathered all of my things again and went down to the office where I asked for some covers for my class and a ride to the hospital, HA! Dr. Miller, another assistant principal, was sending a fax and gladly agreed to take me. She got on her walkie-talkie and told Ms. Sanders, the principal, that she was taking me to the hospital. In less than a minute there were 5 or 6 ladies standing around us. I was totally calm about the whole thing. I wasn't expecting much more than an hour-long examination where they told me everything was cool and to take it easy.

When I got to the hospital, the examined my cervix first. They said it was very angry. As soon as they finished looking at it, it started gushing blood. They couldn't even feel how many centimeters I was because they didn't want to irritate it anymore. They sent me straight to ultrasound to make sure my placenta was in a good spot. If it would have been right over my cervix, they wouldn't have checked me again because it would have been too dangerous. Jake was there in no time. We both got to see Cora on the ultrasound. She is BEAUTIFUL! She has great chubby cheeks, sweet little lips, and the cutest nose! The placenta was in a good spot, so we were good. When I got back to my room, they hooked me up to the machines, and I was contracting every 2 minutes. They also checked my cervix and I was dilated to 2.5 centimeters. I shouldn't have been contracting, nor should I have been dilated at that point. They kept me in outpatient until 4 PM, when I was finally admitted to the hospital. They didn't know if they were going to transfer me to a hospital with a NICU. Outpatient had faster access to an ambulance door, hence the longer stay there.

I was monitored overnight. My contractions calmed down until around 5 AM. They were giving me some serious drugs to stop them. I spent the night on morphine because it relaxes smooth muscles, exactly what the uterus is. I was examined at 6:00 and they said I'd dilated to 3.5-4. The decision was made for me to be transferred to a different hospital. That was really hard because my doctor doesn't have privileges at mine, so I had to leave her behind. I took my first ambulance ride. It was bumpy. I got to my new hospital and they just kept giving me drugs, and my contractions just kept coming. The good news is that I haven't dilated more. My contractions haven't stopped. They moved me today out of labor and delivery to a different room where I have a bit more freedom and don't have to be monitored all the time. My contractions were a constant 4-5 minutes earlier today. They stopped giving me any medication to stop them. I'm sort of glad for that. The risks to Cora being born now are drastically reduced. They gave me a steroid shot on the first day that helped to develop her lungs, so she's great in that department, I'm just now feeling the contractions more often because there aren't any drugs to slow them down. Cora is still breech. I'm hoping she'll flip around because if she does decide to come it will be a c-section. At the ultrasound yesterday she weighed 4.2 pounds. She's pretty big already. After being in the hospital for what will be four days tomorrow, I'm getting really anxious for her to be here, but we have no idea when she'll make her grand entrance. My doctor said I could be here anywhere from a few days to a few weeks! It all depends on how my contractions affect my dilation. If I get to go home, I'll be on bed rest until she's here. Phew, that's a lot!

I just want to talk about Jake for a second...I HAVE THE BEST HUSBAND! He has been so great. He is so kind and sweet. He slept in a recliner next to me last night! And will do so again tonight. I cut his hair, and I kept thinking about how I needed to give him one last weekend. Today I said something about it, and gave him all the numbers he would need to tell the stylist, and he said, "But it wouldn't be the same." I am just blessed beyond measure. I know that God is looking out for our little family, and I will never EVER be able to express my thanks to Him for the amazing life that I have.

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Ghetto Lucy Dos

Last night someone hit our car. It was parked where it always is, right out in front of our house. It was a hit and run. No note or knock on the door, nothing. The worst part was that I heard it happen. I looked out the window, but I couldn't see any damage. I could only see the back and passenger side. When Jake went out this morning to scrape the ice off, he saw that it has in fact been hit when he got to the driver's side. The driver's side door is dented in and the mirror is in hundreds of pieces all over the street...like part of it is just hanging there. It also shattered the one of the NEW hubcaps that we replaced after we lost one a few weeks ago. Anyway, it was a truck with pipes, so when it happened, I could hear them accelerate, stop for a second, and then floor it to get out of there. Part of its blinker is lying in the road with Lucy's broken pieces. We have liability only on that car...eek. The part that really irks me about this is that we of all the things we could be spending money on right now, this is not something that should be on our plate. I have no idea how much it's going to cost. I'm still holding out that someone will come forward. We could set aside the fact they performed an illegal action by running away. We just want them to be responsible for their actions.

AHHH!

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Happiness

I get to pee in a jug for 24 hours.

All of my pee.

I am my own urine collector.

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A bit of murmuring and some predictions

Cora is getting so big! I feel so much bigger than I did last week. I need to take some more pictures. I had a disappointing doctors appointment last week. There were two unrelated issues that just seemed to put a damper on things....No on ever wants to hear that everything isn't PERFECT when they're growing a human being inside. At every visit the first thing I do is go and give a urine sample. They found some protein this time. Protein can be one of the signs of preeclampsia. I gave up some more urine so they could send it to the lab for more tests. The other signs of preeclampsia, neither of which I have, are swelling and high blood pressure. Phew. Those are the main ones...others include headaches, blurred vision, etc. Being that I haven't received a phone call, I'm feeling hopeful that nothing too urgent is going on. The other issue is my gallbladder, which has been an issue for quite a time. The plan has been to wait until Cora is here and then have it taken out. Well, I lost two pounds, so my doctor was going to call and discuss various options with a surgeon, even though surgeons pretty much hate the idea of operating on pregnant ladies. Dealing with my gallbladder will probably come after we see if I've gained weight at the next appointment. I blame my weight entirely on the holidays. We stayed with Jake's grandparents for 2 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Meemaw believes in cooking with grease...Southern cooking at it's best. Losing 2 pounds could very well be my body just getting back to cereal for breakfast. My doctor said she's more worried about me with the weight thing because Cora will take everything she needs, and she didn't want me passing out in front of class or anything. I don't want to see than either. We shall see.

To randomly compound the issue: Today I started leaking massive amounts of snot. Our weather just keeps going from warm to cold. I am getting a cool manly voice though. Nobody ever eats as much when their sinuses are dripping. I've forced a few extra snacks on myself today without being hungry at all because I want to make sure I'm getting enough calories. Enough with this kind of talk...

You know those clear, squishy balls that have like random plastic things in them that you squeeze around to identify? Well, that's what my uterus is. When I lie flat on my back (which I'm not really supposed to do), I can feel so much more of Cora. It's super cool and kind of weird all at the same time. I wish I could tell what everything is! I can't wait to see little knees and fingers and blinky eyes. One of the biology classes at school did a genetic table to see what Cora is going to look like. There is a 4:0 ratio that she's going to be taller than me (5'3 1/4")...Here's how her hair and eyes break down...

9:16 - Brown/Blue
3:16 - Brown/Brown
3:16 - Blonde/Blue
1:16 - Blonde/Brown

I think she'll most likely have blonde hair (if any) and blue eyes when she's born, but I'm anxious to see which is correct!

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Ghetto Lucy

When I rolled into work on Friday, I got out and was getting my stuff out of the backseat...That's when I noticed it! Lucy was missing a hubcap - back driver's side. It was there when I left home, and not there when I got to school, and there was nothing I could do about it. I called Jake and he actually went out and retraced my path and only saw two orphaned tire accessories on the way. The one that was most promisingly ours was in the middle of Classen and 30th...and had been hit a few times. I'm not positive. It was upside down, but it looked a little too chromie. Anywho...we forgot to go this weekend because we just drove Fit everywhere...So today I showed up to my first day of the second semester still missing a hubcap.

Awesome.

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Mixed Tape

I'm listening to a song Brecken burned me back in high school - 20,000 Seconds by K's Choice. It just turned to El Matador - a song I put on repeat and would fall asleep to most nights of my senior year. Today marks day 6. I've decided that it would be fun if she's born on an odd day. Today doesn't fit that plan, but tomorrow and the 1st do. Feb. 1 is my mom's birthday...there'd be something fun and cosmic about that. AND Feb 1 is a Friday, and I was born on a Friday, and that always meant something to me.

I had really intense, painful contractions yesterday. Cora was moving all over the place. I hoped that she was flipping. I felt kicking and flutters in different spots, but overall, I think she's probably still breech. When the doctor was giving instructions for me to be sudadated, she said, "You made it to 33 weeks!" Indeed I have.

They took away my 30 minute walking period. Yesterday, Ashleigh - a great friend - pushed me all around in a wheelchair for 30 minutes. I so apreciated it. I can get up and around, but have to stay on my floor. Aside fro the cool maziness of my floor, I'm sad I can't go down to the third. It has a big skywalk full of windows that connects lots of buildings. I like being able to see downtown. It makes me feel closer to home. I also randomly look at nursery pictures from Cora's room to see the place I haven't been in about a week. I can't believe I never seriously took the time to go vulunteer at a hospital. There is a need. I am lucky and have people around me all the time, either in person or over the phone. I was always afraid of how heartbreaking seeing "all those sick people" would be. I'm not sick. Aside from the fact that my uterus is in a state of endless constraction, I feel great...just a bit caged. In another room we had I pretended to see an all seeing eye stairing out from behing a box of gloves. It was really just a screw that had fractured part of the plastic holder. I can't imaine what it would be now if I was still there. Anyway, I want to make it a point to step outside my comfort box to comfort others. I never would have imagined that there was a woman out there in labor stuck in a hopital for an indeterminite amount of time. I've always known there's more to life than the daily grind...but now I won't be able to help figuring out what those things are and helping make them better.

Today I might get gussied up...as much as I can...I still have more belly pictures to take! 33 Weeks and 1 Day. I think the last one was around 30 weeks. There's more Cora now for sure. I keep almost falling asleep while I'm writing this. I might try for a bit me sleep before I officially start my day.

I got sad 2 nights ago. My contractions had spaced out a bit. Around 2 AM the nurse came in and unhooked the iv. When she left, I turned and looked at Jake over on his little cot. I just started crying. I know a lot of it was exhaustion. My only consolation was to pick up a pillow and blanket and squeeze in beside him on my side of the bed. After a few minutes and a few more tears, I went to sleep, that's where I got my 2 hours of sleep for that night.

Yesterday someone told me, "She'll just never know all that you did for her." I haven't really thought about it from that angle. I suppose I would if I knew someone else in a situation similar to mine...something like we never really recognize/acknowlwedge all our parents have done for us. But that's not how I feel right now, not in my situation. Jake and I got this little baby to this point. This point of sweet, almost unrecognizable chest movement on an ultrasound where she's practicing with her lungs, and the little visible fuzzy hair on her head, and her chubby cheeks and fingers, and how she sits with one leg curled under her. She is mine, and I love her, and I haven't even seen her smile or look at me with open eyes. My job is to get her here. Her job is not to acknowledge that in itself, but to grow and learn and make the most of what it means to be a human being. I'll share some of my favorite parts of all of that along the way. I'm proud for us that we've made it another week. One more week, besides full term, is our ultimate goal. One more week here is daunting, but day by day it's not so bad.

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Life

Tomorrow is our anniversary. I can hardly believe I've been married for four years!! That's awesome. It's amazing to be so in love.

Cora will be here in just over 2 months. I have really enjoyed my winter break. I have to go back on Friday...geez! I think it's to make up a snow day (we used five when the ice storm came...there are only two built into the school year). I'm going to take advantage of it and complete my weekly lesson plans for the semester. That will be a super relief as the time quickly approaches that a sub will be in my class. Last weekend we moved around our study to get it ready to be Cora's room. It feels nice to be getting her space ready. We found a cute dresser at an antique shop. It's perfect, though I'm still trying to decide if I want to paint it more of a turquoise color. We also registered at babies r us (hint hint ;). Her room is going to be brown and pink...with polka-dots. Right now there is a bed in there for those who come to help us in the four weeks between me going back to school and Jake getting out for summer. My mom is coming for two of those weeks, which leaves two weeks open...we're taking volunteers.

Christmas was awesome. Vaughn refinished a trunk that has been in my family for a long LONG time...like it came up from Mexico with my grandparents who eventually settled Mesa. My grandpa took it with him during WWII. When Vaughn was redoing the top, a Japanese coin fell out between the slats of wood. I'm pretty sure it had been in there since he put it there, as it spent about 40 years after the war in a chicken coop. I brought it to him last Christmas, and I really had no idea that he had finished it this Christmas. As soon as I saw the pressed tin under the paper, I started crying...and I just kept crying. Speaking of crying, Jake and I saw Juno yesterday, and I cried for almost the entire last half of the movie...it started when Vanessa runs into Juno at the mall.

Tonight we went to dinner with the Lambs and the Grays at Ironstar BBQ (36th & Shartel). They have the BEST house dressing. It's BBQ Ranch. I had a Cobb salad just so I could have some dressing with every bite. Afterwards we went bowling. The Gray's kids met us there. They're all really great. I bowled a 40....and that's with my strike. Yep, a 40. I think it's a record. I'm pretty sure Cora counts as interference. I can't wait to have my gallbladder taken out. It's a killer, but my doctor said that unless it's a super emergency, nobody likes to operate on pregnant ladies. I get it...but it makes food an enemy...Have I mentioned I've gained almost 30 pounds?!? 28 at my last appointment. No stretch marks yet...KNOCK ON WOOD! Hmm, well, that's about it.

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