Cora Flowers

Yesterday was so weird! All morning long we thought Cora might have flipped around. There was definitely something that wasn't very bottom-like down in my pelvis. By the time the ultrasound came, she was breech...the hard spot we thought was a head was gone. She's in a better breech position though! She's not sitting on a leg anymore. From the measurements they did, she weighs FIVE pounds! She must have an ultra-large umbilical cord, or she's just being greedy with her portion of the food we eat. Either way, if she was 5 pounds at 33 weeks and 3 days, she's going to be HUGE if I end up making it to full term (highly unlikely). I do not have a big baby body....yet another thing to discuss with her.

A nurse who has never measured my cervix for dilation came in and did just that yesterday. It was SOOOOO discouraging. Right before she started I said, "Don't break my heart with the new number." She gets done and says, "Yeah, you're only about a 2-3."

I was like, "WHAT?!?" I told her that I'd been consistently measuring at 4 for the last few days. She said a little bit more to justify her 2-3. And then said, "You're lucky these contractions aren't doing anything..." I'm still stuck on her number...and then, this is the kicker! She says, "Just drink some water and lay on your side and they should go away." I could not believe this woman. I had been in the hospital for 8 days, EIGHT DAYS! and that's her answer. It would generally be a very good answer. I've done it and it has worked well with cramps and uneasiness, but it has yet to stop or slow my contractions since I've been in here. I was a 2-3 when I went into the hospital on the first day. My progression to a solid three (measured by the same person) is how I got moved to this hospital. My progression to a solid four (also measured several time by one person...and backed by others) is why I'm still here.

When she left I just started crying. Oh, and when she left, she didn't give me anything to remove the excess gel stuff, AND she left my door open. So I'm just lying under the covers without my pants, BAWLING, and I can't get up to get anything because my door is open. I waited for my real nurse to come back, it took her a while because she was ordering morphine to see if it would calm my uterus down because the contractions had been right on top of each other, which is why I had the cervical check anyway. Right after I called my nurse, and before she got there, this man pops his head in the door with a BEAUTIFUL arrangement of flowers. I was trying to get out through the tears that he probably had the wrong room, but he says my name before I can get it out. I said, "Yes." He put them on the counter of my sink so I could see it, and then he brought me the card. He was so apprehensive because I was really just crying hysterically. I read the card, and this sweet couple from church had sent the flowers. I looked at them and laughed and cried, and despite the fact that I kept crying, and requested to see the doctor when my nurse got back, I couldn't think anything but "Cora" when I looked over and saw the light coming down through the pink petals of a lily.

That night I went over to visit a woman who has been here for three days. This is her second pre-term labor. Her first was with her little girl who is 13 months. A nurse who I had a few days ago, who still visits me, said that I should go see her because her little girl was born at 33 weeks. I'm sitting in a chair next to her bed, her husband and two kids are there. We're just talking, and then I start feeling really light-headed, like I'm going to pass out. I just stop talking and say, "I'm sorry, but I feel faint." They're both looking at me, and her husband goes over and calls the nurse, and then I feel like I'm going to throw up. There's a trash can right next to me, and I grab it, but then I think about how they're right there. I bolted up and stumbled into the bathroom and threw up! They're just out there asking if I'm okay. The nurse hadn't arrived yet, so her husband told me to pull the little string in the bathroom to see if they would get there any faster. My nurse and her nurse both arrived together. I finished up, cleaned up, and was escorted back to my room. I felt a twinge of embarrassment coupled with a little "What the heck?" I just went to sleep when I got back. Jake was here, and also not feeling well. We both were in bed at 7:30, with a minor interruption so I could be put on the monitor for contractions and Cora's heartbeat.

Anyway, here I am this morning, hooked up to the afore mentioned machine...having contractions, oh, every two minutes for now...but every time I look up I catch sight of and spend a while lost in thought at my Cora Flowers.

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