Creativity, dreams, and regret.

 My friend Jennifer posted this quote yesterday, and it has been on my mind.
The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this: A human creature born abnormally, inhumanely sensitive. To them... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death.  
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the desire to create, create, create -- so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, their very breath is cut off...  
They must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency they are not really alive unless they are creating.   
Pearl S. Buck
I've gone back and forth between proudly singing Jewel's I'm sensitive, and I'd like to stay that way, and praying that I would be less sensitive. It's a funny line to walk. Right now, Pearl's quote and this quote are holding hands in my brain.


Last night I had a dream that the husband of a cousin-of-a-cousin was killed in a car accident over night. One of the causes: too much sweet tea. I don't know either. But it left me unsettled. Some of my dreams have turned out to be premonitions. One of the craziest was in 2005. We were sleeping in one of the dorms on the campus of Graceland University for the Community of Christ's large annual youth event called Spec[tacular]. I dreamt that an Air France plane was flying slow and low in a grey sky over deep green field. Suddenly, the nose turned toward the ground and it crashed. I told Jake about it when we woke up. A few days later, an Air France plane ran off the runway and burst into flames in Toronto. All of the passengers survived. Phew.

My dreams had some down time for a while, I think because I was super sleep deprived for so long after Magnolia, but they've been much more vivid, and I'm remembering them more often lately. I've missed them. But not the kind I had last night, but I haven't heard any terrible news, so I'm going to try and forget the whole DUI of sweet tea dream. He was also driving an old school red Taurus station wagon. I don't think they made the color of red I saw for that model of wagon. I'm knocking down this dream's credibility.


I had a great run today, but I'm never taking my girls to the child watch at the Downtown YMCA again. We don't usually go to that location (because I wasn't impressed with CW the one time I took my girls before), but I missed my run yesterday because I was going to go visit someone, and our normal Y doesn't have child watch on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I just couldn't believe one of the workers and her account of an interaction she had with Magnolia (Cora was at school). How is it that so many people who have no idea about children end up working with them? I was so close to saying something I'm sure I would have regretted, even though I sort of regret not saying anything. The worker wouldn't have been the right person to say it to anyway. I apologized to Magnolia for taking her there as soon as we were in the hallway. It was a good reminder that I should always follow my gut.        


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