While admiring the baby chimpanzees at the zoo today, one of the adult chimps came toward the window with a piece of green poop in his mouth. It was hanging there just as casually as a lollipop. When he was right in front, he grabbed it and started eating it like a pickle. He sat enjoying each bite, pausing a moment to lick his fingers. I diverted my eyes.

As he turned to make his way back to where he’d come from, he flashed the coconuts hanging in his ballsack, and I suddenly heard his voice in my head.
I have freakin’ coconut balls and eat poop pickles – What now? ß [with a head dipping shoulder shrug]  


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