I've kept a low profile this election season. I grew weary of the diatribe that would come to my "personal" spaces on the web in reaction to me sharing my opinions and thoughts. After the last presidential election, I learned hard lessons about how people can literally cut me out of their lives because my opinions were different from theirs. I used to know that I would never meet a person I wouldn't love. It's still true, but because some relationships I valued were damaged and even broken, I've found myself hesitant around people, which is new to me. I was so disappointed in the lack of civility and how dispensable I became to some.

I still don't know if just not talking about politics and issues is the solution to the lack of civility, but I've come to realize the most important thing is doing something about the little fire inside. Being an active member of the community, of a cause, of something we really believe in, in whatever way we can, is far more valuable than throwing words back and forth at one another. I'm admittedly still licking wounds from things that turned personal that shouldn't have. I'm working on not thinking twice about what someone might do with me when we don't see eye to eye. This whole being weary of people has left a hole in my heart that I feel is just about to close. Loving people, and how I treat and think of them because of that love, makes me happy. It's a valuable driving force, a vitality that I've missed.  

Do you ever get names stuck in your head? I was listening to NPR this morning on my way to pick Cora up...or drop her off, I can't remember, and they were talking about an upcoming segment with Mara Liasson. Over and over again, all day, "Mara Liasson." It's so weird. It's happened before, especially when I was pregnant and I would mull over the names I was planning on giving my girls, but I think it had more to do with making sure it was just right.

When I was a child, I would get hung up on the consonant sounds 'r' and 'n.' Like I had a tick, and had to say them, either aloud or in my head, for a certain amount of time until my brain was satisfied. Maybe I really like the 'r' in Mara. I don't know. I hope this is over when I wake up in the morning.       


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