Mr. Bearly and Maddie

Not last night, but the night before, I was sad. I couldn't place my finger on why. Jake brought over "two friends who he knew would make me feel better." Mr. Bearly and Maddie. They live in a cute basket behind our couch. I haven't held them at all, only straightened them up a time or two since I've been in Oklahoma. As soon as they were in my arms and I rubbed Maddie's ear between my fingers (like I used to always do before I fell asleep). I started crying. I missed something. Like I said, I'm not sure what. I'm ready to sink my feet into the soil and start growing here. I know it will all be different when school starts and I have a better opportunity to meet people, but for now, it seems hard. I go through the motions of the day, but wonder if anyone outside of Jake even cares that I exist here. I don't like to think about it that way. It's just hard to move to a completely new place after you're married and be around a bunch of people (like everyone) who isn't and expect to make the really close connections I prefer having with people, rather than the kind that just involves small talk all the time.

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