Giving In

I packed my hospital bag today. It contains some clothes, a few toiletries, and a blanket and coming home outfit for Magnolia.

I've been resisting the bag packing because I didn't want to think about the possibility of going in before I was ready. I'm supposed to be thinking about keeping her in, not going to have her taken out. I had a doctor appoinment today. My blood pressure was higher than usual, so I was sent to the hospital for tests and monitoring. Everything came back good. Good.

I think the hardest news to hear in pregnancy is that no progress is being made. Granted, it's good news at this stage (34 weeks and 3 days), but my life is in a sort of holding pattern. There are only so many things I can do. Before today, I hadn't been out of my apartment since Monday. And I don't think an outing to the doctor and hospital really counts as getting out.

One more week of bedrest. I'm working really hard at putting myself in a place to fully embrace the rest of this pregnacy. I'm also trying to find a balance where it doesn't completely consume my every waking moment. I need some yoga in my life right now.

Magnolia, you come when you are ready, and I will try my hardest not to speculate when that time should be.

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