Lucky

Jake and I drove from Arizona to Oklahoma yesterday. It was quite the drive, and we're glad to be home. My cousins were an hour behind us on I-40 and got stuck for about 8 hours in New Mexico because they closed the interstate not long after we went through. Christmas was wonderful. I enjoyed the time I got to spend with family and the chance I had to see a few friends! I got a sewing machine from my parents!!! YIPEE!

Okay, so I didn't get sick the whole time we were gone, and then we get home and just a few minutes ago, I totally lost my lunch. What?!?! Ha. I'm off for some laundry duty.

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Finals and Cravings

I want some Poore Brother's Jalapeno chips!!!! Darn them for not being in Oklahoma yet!

I got an email today from my wellness professor that said we don't have to take the final if we're happy with our grade, but we had to let her know by 4:30 today. I checked my email at 4:45!!!! I called and replied and am hoping that my grade is the same as it was the last time I saw it...and that she'll love me! If I get out of the final for real then I just have two things left this semester! A painting and a synthesis paper.

For now I'm off to take a shower (what? I've been throwing up, sleeping and writing papers all day!). Jake's composition class recital is tonight. He set one of my poems and a gal is singing it tonight. YAY! I can't wait to hear it. It's sort of a dream come true...only in my dream I write the music. I'll see what I can do about that. I think it will be great!

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This Morning

I heaved for the first time and my jeans didn't fit.

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change

and then one day Rumsfeld stepped down...

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Quackers

This is not what I had intended to write here, but when I signed on I saw the "belly slappin' - Get a free ring tone" guy. It grosses me out a little more every time I see it. That's all.

So onto babies, well, one in particular...Yesterday I picked up the classic, "What to Expect When You're Expecting." It's been a good read so far - very informative. I also picked up my very first piece of meternity apparel on Friday. It's a cute grey dress. I will be receiving it for Christmas... I wonder if I'll need it by then. I'm excited and giddy and all of those fun, wonderful things. We also picked up a book for Jake, "The Expectant Father," ha, cute, I know. Anyway, I'm off.

PS: Jake and I have a nickname for our baby until we find out if we're having a boy or a girl....and the name for the next three or four months shall be Quackers...after that, Ben or Cora will take over.

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Venting

I'm tired of the uber-conservative "Christians" making the Republican Party stink a lot.

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breath in deeply - then sigh

I'd like to go out dancing. Maybe not out - maybe just around the living room to some of the old cd's that Brecken made me. I keep them in a sort of sacred stash and listen to them when I'm feeling sentimental, or just because. And dancing like hair and arms waving around because they don't want to follow any certain order.

I have been feeling quite sentimental lately, I'm not really sure why. I'm waiting for Nathaniel to write me back, though it could take a while. I was looking at Sarah Keller's profile for a long time...and browsing through Crystal Lorenz's pictures. I found Audra on here and felt glad about it, I'd been wondering about her for a while. I keep thinking about the Coleman's and how they're having babies...and thinking about Kristy as a mom makes me smile so big. Maybe it's because my parents are moving. Have I said that yet? Yes, my dad got a new job and they're moving to Bagdad, AZ. It's like when I go home, I won't be going home to the tender things that I associate with "home," besides mi familia of course. My dad is already in Bagdad during the week....they should still be in their house in AJ until Christmas, and GUESS WHAT?!?!?! We just happen to be coming for Christmas, so I REALLY have to see people this time! Blah Blah Blah, I'm stopping here - I feel like a sappy schmuck.

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Souvenir

Okay, so the following poem is by Edna St. Vincent Millay. I love it. I enjoy her, but what on earth is a blackberry hoop. I think it's maybe something that blackberry bushes grow around...? But dim with purple chalk?...the blackberry juices? I wouldn't think they'd "chalk." This may all be really silly, what do you think?

Souvenir

Just a rainy day or two
In a windy tower,
That was all I had of you--
Saving half and hour
Marred by greeting passing groups
On a cinder walk,
Near some naked blackberry hoops
Dim with purple chalk.

I remember three or four
Things you said in spite,
And an ugly coat you wore,
Plaided black and white.

Just a rainy day or two,
And a bitter word.
Why do I remember you
As a singing bird?

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a stolen survey

1.Explain what ended your last relationship?
Um, I don't remember my last official relationship before Jake. I had a few one weekers in there. How about this: Jake ended any chance of a relationship with anyone else....he's a who rather than a what, though a what would be me finding my soulmate.

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
I don't remember....;( Last Sunday I think because I wouldn't wear a skirt without shaving first. Don't judge me, my legs have been terribly sensitive when brought into contact with a razor.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Sleeping.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Kissing Jake goodbye.

5. Are you good at math?
I love math, though am not very good at it.

6. Your formal night?
hmmm...

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?
Buddy Holly, Jacob Hamblin...

8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school?
Goodness, have I ever! Private universities are anything but cheap.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?
Sure do.

10. Last thing received in the mail?
That counts? A bill or something we have to be responsible about.

11. How many different beverages have you drank today?
I've had some cranberry/pomegranate juice (SO good) and water.

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?
Yes. I hate it when people leave messages that say nothing about what they want. They're just like, call me back and you have no idea what to expect. It's different for friends because it doesn't really matter, but for the most part you should state your purpose.

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?
George Strait.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
Sometimes.

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
Actual procedure...it was at the orthodontist and it was when they were trying to take the haas appliance out from the top of my mouth and it was stuck on a tooth and they just kept yanking.

16. What is outside your back door?
Our deck.

17. Any plans this friday?
Yep, I'm writing a paper....hence all of the long answers.

18. Do you like the ocean?
Yes. This is sort of a trick question. I was going to say it's one of my favorite places, but I've never been too far away from the shore...so I guess the beach is one of my favorite places, while the idea of being out in the middle of the ocean scares me a little.

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn?
Not personally, my family has. I like eating one of each flavor at the same time.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?
Yes.

22. Something you are excited about?
Seeing Parker and the card I got for my sister's birthday but haven't sent yet, it's tomorrow.

23. What is your favorite flavour of JELLY?
Lilikoi, Raspberry, and Strawberry (My mom brought us two jars of homemade strawberry when she came, YUM!).

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive?
I was just about to say no, but yes, one is. I've never met her though, she's my biological father's grandmother, his mother's mother...He calls her Grandmommy.

25. Describe your keychain:
I have my mini bank card, my blockbuster rewards card, and one from Seattle, as well as three keys.

26. Where do you keep your change?
I don't ever have too much of it because I never have cash, but either in my wallet or in a clear piano bank of our desk.

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?
I don't know.

28. What kind of winter coat do you have?
A long black wool coat (it's beautiful), and a really puffy, ivory, "Warmest Jacket" from Gap.

29. What was the weather like on your graduation?
Sarah Keller's birthday and graduation were beautiful. It was pretty hot for everyone in the stands, but there was a nice breeze down on the field...and a gorgeous sunset!

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?
It depends on the season. It's warmer with it open and cooler with it closed.

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Vision

I've had contacts for the past two weeks. They're nice. The first set that I had didn't really provide clear vision. When I went back in a week to see how things were working out, the doctor switched me to a different brand, same prescription and they're wonderful! However, I did find that I'm allergic to Jake's contact solution. There is almost nothing worse than the few moments after you put something you're allergic to in your eye.

So my bilogical guy sent Jake and I a drawing, maybe I can see about getting pctures of some of his stuff on here...like near the beginning of the year - end of January, early February at the latest - and with it he sent a tape that he wanted Jake to record some music on. He had built a Native American Flute and wanted to learn to play a tune by listening to it because he can't read music. WE HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND A TAPE PLAYER ANYWHERE!!! So I haven't written him anything for this whole year. I feel terrible about it. I just thought I'd write when we got the tape ready to go, but we haven't...and it's been so long, and I know none of that matters I've just been worrying about it a little.

At school I'm starting/hoping to start a group called OCUWrites - like bringing together an on campus writing community. I sent out the first round of advertisment/invitations on facebook today. I think this can really be something special. If you're reading this and you go to OCU, I'd love for you to come be a part of it (Oct. 26 from 5:30-7:30 in Walker Center 143)...and if you just happen to be in Oklahoma then, stop by ;).

I'm also taking a class, Literature for Adolescents, through independent study. I feel really weird about it because there's an actual class of it going on this semester, it just conflicted with my Spanish class. It's weird because usually in independent study you just work at your own pace. This time I'm working at the pace of a class I never go to/never am in on any of the discussion. I know that I'll get everything done and I'm learning a lot, I just feel like I'm letting my professor down by not exactly right there with the class.

I didn't mean to end on such a downer...OH! I don't have to! I'm picking my parents up from the airport tomorrow!!!!! I'm so excited. It's the first time my dad has been here since I've been here. I never realize how much I miss having my family around until I know they are actually going to be here. Don't get me wrong, I have family enough here with all of Jake's family, and really, it's ALL of Jake's family - It's just really nice to see other familiar faces once in a while.

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Parking lot conversation

Little Girl: Is God dead?

Mom: No.

Little Girl: Isn't he in Heaven?

Mom: Just because he's in heaven doesn't mean he's dead.

***

I made my first attempt at making sushi today. It was good but not very pretty. I don't have the proper rolling technique just yet. I'm also not really using the right kind of rice, but another batch of rice is cooling as we speak. I'm trying to recreate a roll we had in Hawaii. It was called Faye's Garden and it had apples in it, YUM! At any rate, the nori is my favorite part - I'm not really sure why, I just love the texture. I've been trying to be super healthy after the gall stone discovery. Maybe I should go for a walk while I'm waiting on the rice.

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Broken

My glasses just broke and I can't even begin to express how sad that makes me. I have on my old glasses, but they're not the same. The world is a semi-distorted blur and I'm right in the middle of writing my unit plan for Methods of Teaching. It's my first one (unit plan that is) and it was going well, but I feel a serious damper closing in (she weeps). My unit is geared towards 11th grade English (American Literature) and covers the Romantic Period. Yay for Transcendentalism.

Yesterday I went and taught Spanish at Gatewood Elementary, as I will once a week for the rest of the semester, to a kindergarten class. They were lovely. We were talking about the color our eyes (we were working on colors) and I took my glasses off and asked them to say what color my eyes were and in the midst of "Blue" (when really my partner and I were hoping for "azul"), a girl spoke up above the rest and said, "You look really pretty without your glasses." I thanked her and put my glasses back on and went forth with the lesson. Oh the silly, contrived irony of it all.

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Dental Hygiene and the wacky tobaccy

I'm a little bit disturbed that not all mouthwash is clear. There's nothing like trying to do something healthy for you mouth only to be left with remnants of green or blue. I miss the bubble gum fluoride rinse from Kindergarten. While it defeats my clear mouthwash point...um...maybe I just miss the flavor.

I'm pretty sure our downstairs neighbor smokes pot, to each his own, but we can smell it in our apartment and it stinks...and he's the maintenance guy which would make it semi-awkward to call the main office about.

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Senior Year

1. Who was your best friend? Sarah Keller

2.What sports did you play? Cross-Country and Track, however my lungs stopped working half-way through track season.

3. What kind of car did you drive?: An '88 Buick Le Sabre, Lou. SHe was beautiful and we had some good times together.

4. It's Friday night, where were you at?: It depends on whether or not it was in the Spring or Fall. Fall=Football games. After that, where ever.

5. Were you a party animal?: Yeah, no. I stuck out like a sore thumb at parties.

6. Were you considered a flirt?: I was always terrible at flirting.

7. Ever skip school? Of course.

8. Were you a nerd? In my own special way.

10. Did you get suspended/expelled? Not that far, but I did get Saturday School where I wrote an 8-page essay about the ills of the system that put me there.

11. Can you sing the fight song: You'd better believe I can.

12. Who was your favorite teacher? Ummm, I had several. I loved Coach Swift, Ms. Wiseman, Mr. Olmstead, Mrs. Hines, Mr. Swanson (even though I don't think he liked me much), Mrs. Iglewski and several others. Oh, and I also liked how weird Mr. Belcher was.

13. Favorite class?: Young Spirit, Dance, Ceramics, U.S. History, and Junior English (for the material).

14. What was your school's full name?: Apache Junction High School

15. School mascot? Prospector

16. Did you go to dances? I was a Dance-oholic.

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? Um, this is a trick question. I sure don't want to go back, but I do wish I would have done some things differently.

18. How did you feel about graduation? I was a little sad that I didn't get to read my favorite quote. It's where I took my first picture with my biological father. I treasure it in a way I never thought I would.

19. Favorite memory of your Senior Year? I have several as far as high school memories go, but my favorite lifetime memory from my senior year is definitely meeting Jake.

20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall?: Did we have a Senior Wall?

21. Did you have a job your senior year? Two. It's where my career at KFC came to a close and when I painted scenes on ceramic pots for a landscaping company.

22. Where did you go most often for lunch? The Choir Hall.

23. Have you gained weight since then? Definitely, about 20 pounds.

24. What did you do after graduation? Got married and went to college.

25. When did you graduate from high school? 2003

26. Where are most of your classmates? In Arizona.

27. Are you going to your ten year reunion? I'd like to.

28. Who was your worst teacher? I can't remember her name, is that awful? She was my chemistry teacher. I lost interest when she couldn't answer any of my questions and she got mad when I would fall asleep.

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Red Stilettos and Matilda

Much of my mind since Saturday has been consumed by the quest for the perfect pair of red stilettos. They would just go great with the white and blue striped shirt dress I got. I saw the perfect pair at Charlotte Russe, however, size 9 was all they had left. In desperation I turned to ebay and found the same style, different brand. Part of the satisfaction of perfect shoes is sliding my foot in and knowing that they fit perfectly - I'm viewing them for the rest of the bidding time, holding out to see if I will be able to pick these shoes up in person.

I ordered all of my text books sometime last week and in addition to required reading I finally ordered one of my favorite, what am I talking about, my favorite childhood book, Matilda. I made sure I got the 1990 edition with the yellow cover and "Matilda" in red foil lettering. It is the one that I read - the one that I fell in love with. It came in the mail today. I made sure it wasn't from the "brand new" section because I wanted a book that someone else had read through and loved. I've started reading through it again and I still love it just as much. I always wanted to be Matilda but now I want to be Miss Honey to all of the Matildas in the world. I want to be the one who appreciates the special powers that everyone possesses but not everyone sees. I don't want to ruin the ending for anyone who hasn't read it...but it's the ending I dreamed would happen to me as a child.

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An old tradition at the beginning of school

I got a new pair of running shoes today. My first pair since my senior year in high school. I called my mom and told her about it. A new school year meant a new running season and new running shoes.

It was like catching up with old times.

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Aloha

Hawaii smells amazing. When you walk outside the air is sweet and clean and you can't help but taking long, deep breaths. Sometimes when I walk outside my eyes well up a little at all of the things I'm looking at, at the whole experience of nature that fully envelops me. We're staying at a gorgeous house. Carl and Marilyn, the owners, moved in in January. It's near the top of a mountain and over looks the ocean and a lot of the coast all the way to Kona in one direction and on a clear day you can look to the North and see the other Islands in the chain. Maui is the closest. It presents itself in our view as a huge blue/grey mountain. We're only been able to see three, but Carl says that sometimes you can see all six. Marilyn cuts up fresh fruit for us every morning - pineapple, papaya, blueberries, dragon fruit, passion fruit jelly, and best of all, MANGO! I've also consumed an incredible amount of guava nectar and Passo-Guava juice. On Sunday we went to Kona for a performance in the Aloha Theatre. It was so amazing, when you got past the smell - It had all of these fun passageways and a sort of secret room that basically had a wall of windows that over looked the ocean. There is just so much to talk about and I haven't even seen Kilauea yet! The beach is soooo beautiful and the water warm (though a little nippy to step into at first. No surfing on a board, but the waves are great for body surfing.

I suppose I'll conclude with Blacky. Carl and Marilyn rescue cats and the have one who is a little over a year old whom they had to send to Oahu for a special surgery because she had a tumor growing in her head. They removed it but it left her head with a sort of permanent tilt to one side. She doesn't walk in circles anymore because of it but she leans to one side and it's fun to watch her run down the hall though I spend all of my time hoping that she doesn't veer into the wall. She likes to play with her toys, be hand fed cheese and follow me into my room and crawl under the bed where I can't quite reach her. She has been fun.

Okay, one more closer. You can see the stars like no other place in the world. When we pull in at night our eyes are automatically drawn up. It's like I could raise my hand and ripple the Milky Way.

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Blabber

I'm tired and I started coughing about 5 minutes ago and haven't really stopped and the result seems to be an achy chest. So what do I do? Visit myspace. I was looking through my Senior Year yearbook this afternoon. All of the "I hope we stay in touch" messages made me feel a little sentimental. I really wish I would have honored some of them, even though they're more filler writing for situations like signing yearbooks. After I read through them I looked up all of the people who are on here who graduated with me. It was fun. I'm amazed at how many people are married and/or have started families. I found a flag girl who I hadn't heard anything about after hearing that she was deploye din the Navy when the War in Iraq happened, maybe it was the War on Terror, they blur together to me. She is both a wife and the mother of two.

I was also looking for a boy who graciously asked me to a dance after my date bailed to go with his ex-girlfriend ( who then became his girlfriend again, only to become his ex-girlfriend a few weeks later). This boy was a year younger and sat behind me in math. This was the conversation between me and the football boys who sat next to me: "Yeah, he bailed to go with "her." And whatever else we might have said...and a few minutes into the lesson the boy who I was trying to find today leaned up and said, "Well why don't you let me take you." I didn't understand how brave he was being when I said, "I didn't really want to go anyway." But I think that stands as one of the most thoughtful things anyone has ever done in the sweetest kind of way.

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I've been studying the nature of God...

I was reading through my scriptures last night and found a scripture that is not an unfamiliar one, but I'd written a cross-reference to another scripture next to it that I looked up and though I've read them both before, and probably together, they penetrated deeper into my heart. The first one is in Moses 1:39, which is in the Pearl of Great Price (it's a book of revelations given to Joseph Smith concerning things that were lost and/or omitted from the bible). It reads:

"For behold, this is my [Christ's] work and my glory - to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man."

My reference was to D&C 11:20 (D&C stands for Doctrine and Covenants, again, another book of revelations given to Joseph Smith). It reads:

"Behold, this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength."

So in exchange for keeping the commandments set forth by Christ, he is not only working on but glorying in my immortality and eternal life. He is up there rooting for me in all that I do and all that he asks is for my obedience to the things that he has said.

Words cannot express what this means to me. Right after I read these things I read Acts 17:27-29. It reads:

"That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us:
For in him we live, and move, and have our being; as certain also as your own poets have said, For we are also his offspring.
Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man's device."

In him I live and move and have my being...I come from him and he wants me to return to his presence and progress throughout eternity.

In finding these things and continually discovering how well these writings work together for a greater understanding of who we are, where we've come from and where we're going...I think it's sad that not everyone has these things to read, study and ponder...that they think the bible is all God gave us to learn and grow from. He has given us even more than a book filled with words - prayer and personal revelation are so important to building a relationship. There have been times when I felt like defending myself because I had the Book of Mormon and many do not believe that it is true, that I couldn't use it in defense of my beliefs to anyone who didn't feel about it the way I do. But I love that book and the others I have quoted here. And if something makes one feel closer to God then I don't understand how it is usually so quickly rejected from peoples' minds for how most perceive it came into existence. I know that God lives and that he loves each and every one of us - so much that he sent his son to suffer for our sins, that we might be made clean in his blood and return to their presence. There is no greater gift.

One final scripture I came across:

Romans 8:16: "The spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God."

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All these distractions

I have decided that I'm going to devote a portion of my summer days to studying for the GRE. I decided that today. Today I haven't opened the book once because I've been too distracted by this site and finding old friends who I haven't seen in forever. I haven't seen them in so long that I wonder if they'll even recognize me when they see my friend request.

My nails are pathetic. I can't stop biting them! Gross, I know.

The other day I decided that the job that is number one on my least desirable list is a butcher. I can't imagine having to go through so much life and death and blood every day - which adds to my list of reasons why I don't want to eat meat: It means that someone else has to kill it. I'm pretty sure that when we make more money I won't really eat it at all. It costs so much more to live off of fruits and vegetables.

I'm lookin' at my lobster picture right now...I want a shirt with the lobster bib logo. Enough of this - GRE study guide, here I come!

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Sorry, this couldn't wait.

I got a surprise visit from Grammy, my cousins and their children last night. They stayed with us and went on to Tennesee this morning. It was so nice to have them here. It was a little surreal. People that dear to my heart don't come around everyday....especially not with a phone call saying they were only 200 miles outside of OKC and that they'd be staying the night. I needed it. I miss my family so much sometimes.

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Too much to Say

I have been meaning to write so many things in here for a while. First, please don't be offended by my new picture. Honestly, I had tears in my eyes when they brought out the lobster and I knew I was responsible for in being on a platter looking so...so...lobster-like. But I did get to wear a cool bib...

I'm going to write a lot more when I'm not as tired, but I just wanted to say that I'm so happy for the last few people who have found me on myspace...all former flag girls, Rachel, Alicia, and Trini - Three girls I love very much and am happy to hear from. I'm also glad that I got a message from my sister. I miss her and feel like I'm missing out on so much of her life. And finally, I never got to thank Sarah Keller for calling me on my birthday. I know I'm late getting around to it, but it really meant a lot.

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One of the greatest things I've ever seen.

I was at the awards ceremony for the music school tonight (I have a story that goes with that that I will tell further down the page) with Jake. At the very end of the ceremony they gave an award for outstanding vocalist. As she, Tiffany Borelli (don't know if that's exactly how her last name is spelled), walked up to get her award she was given a standing ovation by the crowd. We were at a table right behind her family. Her grandpa was there and it's no lie to say that age has taken its toll on his body...Anyway, as everyone stood to applaud his granddaughter he struggled for a moment to grip the table and gain momentum and then he rose up out of his seat and joined the rest of the room in celebration. I couldn't help but let a few tears escape. It made me really miss my grandpa for a second (he passed away my sophomore in high school). They look nothing alike, but had the same rocking momentum. I hope if he were here he would struggle to his feet with pride for me (more tears again).

Okay, to my little story. The music awards and the college of arts and science awards were basically at the same time. M: 6:30 - A&S 7:00. I went to the dinner with Jake in the beginning and then left at 7:40 to go and get my award because I was later in the program. I walk out of the reception hall and see that it is POURING down rain. I went to the kitchen to see what I could find and found some garbage bags. I ripped a hole in the top of a big one to wear over my body and wrapped a smaller one around my head and raced off to the chapel. I got there, but I was TOO LATE! They were already passed my award. I stayed for the last ten minutes and then went up to the stage to ask for my award. I felt good, better than receiving it with the recognition of everyone in the room because the Assistant Dean gave it to me, shook my hand, and gave me my own personal ovation. I then left, went out to the lobby, that was now full of people, and put my trash bags on and headed back to the music school. I made it, but not before a really scary thunder clap. I ditched the bags in the same place I'd originally found them, put my flat hair up into a ponytail (and reapplyed some lipstick), and got back to the music school ceremony in time for the last two awards...the last of which I mentioned above. It was a nice evening...the kind that makes me very thankful for my little private university in the heart of Oklahoma City.

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OCU

This is how academically minded OCU is:

The week before finals, they set up a DJ right in front of the library to announce that Yearbooks are in. The bass is vibrating the floors! I have things to do yearbook committe!!! Set your stand up by the basketball or volleyball courts!...or even in front of the caf but not directly infront of the library!

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Sentimental

Today is my Grammy's 82nd birthday. I called her and we talked for about a half an hour and at one point she cried a little (hapy tears). I said, "You're not supposed to cry on your birthday."

She said, "I know, it's just reading all of these beautiful cards is sentimental, and being alive for 82 years is a little sentimental."

I thought, it sure is.

She had two babies and a husband in WWII. She put a new black and white checkered floor in the house on 1st Street and Mesa Drive in Mesa while she lived on the second story during the war. I can't imagine what it will be like to fulfill nearly a century's worth of living. I think it's amazing. I know it will come before I know it, probably before I'm ready for it.

On this day of crazy amounts of work to do before finals, I hope that every one will stop and send a happy thought in the direction of Betty Jane McInnes Lund Lee.

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Windown

Someday I'd like to live in a home where I can hear church bells ringing.

And maybe it would look like this:







This is a home in Richmond, KY. Beautiful, I know. I wish we were currently in the market. I would put a bench on the front porch.

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Invisible Children

Hey, check this out:

http://www.myspace.com/invisiblechildren

They're having a Global Night Commute in major cities across the U.S. on April 29th. You can read all about it either at the link above or at

www.invisiblechildren.com

I saw the documentary tonight and it was moving beyond words...I can't even imagine...

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Things I need to get done...

My hair is breaking like crazy...I need to get it trimmed.

I have 11 more papers to write before the semester is over in, oh, about three weeks.

Hmm...I think that's about it.

I've been thinking a lot about Dizzy lately. Dizzy is a fella who rides his bike on Main street in Mesa between Center/Mesa Driveish and Gilbert. He meant a lot to me as a little kid, and now as an adult, I suppose he still means something to me because he's a little bit of who I am. I saw him when I was there for Spring Break. It made me happy.

Ride on, Dizzy...Ride on.

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the Bike

So my last two blogs have been surveys.

I worked out for the first time in a long time today. Sarah Keller and the fact that I'm going to Hawaii this summer were my inspiration. It was a pretty poor excuse for a workout, but I did it...and then I had a jalapeno burger and some fried zucchini directly afterwards....I was pleased with my self control in not getting an Oreo shake.

I wrote a 5 1/2 page paper today for a professor who always rips my papers to shreds. I'm interested in seeing this one will stand up, though am trying really hard to remain emotionally unattached....we'll see.

Blankety Blank weeks of school left....I think that equals four until finals, YES!
Everyone who doesn't go to OCU, let me know when your finals week is as well as when you had to go back from Winter Break...I'm trying to figure something out. Thanks!

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My firsts

1.Who was your first prom date?
Josh Jeffrey

2. Who was your first roommate?
Besides the fact that I slept with my mom for several years - and if you don't count my summer in Texas (where my roommates where my cousins Mhari, Kiersty, and Megan) - then my first official stint out of my parents house was when I went to California where my roommate was my cousin KateLynn.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time?

4. What was your first job?
Bussin' tables at the Moose Lodge!

5. What was your first car?
Do you mean WHO was my first car? Her name was Lou. She was a 1988 Buick Le Sabre...Light Blue...with the most comfortable seats I've ever sat in.

6. When did you go to your first funeral?
The first one that I remember was when I was 3. It was my great grandpa's funeral...Grandpa Scottie.

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your home town.
13

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mr. Miracle, yep, that's right, Joe Miracle.

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
California

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
It was with myself.

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?
My first best friend was my cousin Megan. We lived really close to one another. I'm pretty sure we're still friends, but it has been an awfully long time since we spoke last.

12. Where was your first sleepover?
Probably Tana Warren's house...who was my second best friend....Megan moved when I was 6.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a day?
Jake.

14. Who's wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsmen?
Ya know, I think I might end up going my whole life without ever doing that.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Hit the snooze button as hard as I can...but if it's a day when I can wake up on my own, I usually reach over and hold onto Jake.

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
George Strait.

17. First tattoo or piercing?
My ears. I think I was four.

18. First celebrity crush?
JTT, and perhaps George Strait.

19. Age of first real kiss?
My first game of spin the bottle was when I was in seventh grade...my first kiss with just myself and another person in the room was when I was 15.

20. First crush?
Probably Jeff Adams. He always won the court for me in tether ball....bloody knuckled and all.

21. First love?
My mom.

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100 ways to get to know me.

1.EVER BEEN GIVEN A RING?
Yes, a few.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP:
I'm just counting on forever now...Prior to being married was about a year and 9 monthsish....but that feels silly.

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED:
Technically it's not for me, but for our first born child. It's a beautiful afg(h)an that my Grammy made.

4. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DROPPED YOUR CELL?
Surprisingly not too many...maybe five times.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
I'm going to count my hike from Friday.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
Birth Control?...and food.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Chocolate Shake

8. WHATS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Jake

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG:
Grateful

10. Where do you live:
Oklahoma City.

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
Apache Junction High School.

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER?
Cingular.

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
American Eagle...and Old Navy exists in some malls...

14. LONGEST JOB HELD:
1 year and 7 months.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
A few pairs.

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?
No....that was so 7th grade.

17. LAST WEDDING ATTENDED?
Brandon and Jennifer's. Not only a beautiful wedding, but the coolest New Year's party I've ever been to.

18. LAST PERSON YOU THOUGHT OF?
Jennifer.

19. LAST TIME YOU ATTENDED CHURCH:
Last Sunday.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT?
Taco Bell...and Subway...but Subway isn't really as fast as I'd like it to be when I go out for Fast Food.

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE HEARD?
A few of the "I love you's" I've received throughout my life.

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Chili's.

24. CAN YOU COOK?
Yep, but I don't do it very often...I wish I did more of it.

25. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR?
A Black Jetta TDI and a big Black/Red Suburban...maybe a super pimped out '88 Le Sabre.

26. BEST KISSER?
Jake

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Um, sort of yesterday when I realized Spring Break really was over and I really do have a whole lot of stuff left to do in the last 6 weeks of school.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOOD?
Scrambled eggs.

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I think I'm pretty nice....it only means I get my feelings hurt by random things that shouldn't matter....but I suppose a good quality nonetheless.

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
I'm too critical.

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?
8 hours...

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
It's a Wonderful Life, Elizabethtown...

34. CAN YOU SING?
Only when I'm by myself...Sound doesn't care to come out much when I'm infront of other people.

35. FAVORITE BAND?
I have a few.

36. LAST KISS?
A couple of hours ago.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
What Lies Beneath and Steel Magnolias...Jake hadn't seen either one.

38. THING YOU NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT?
Keys...

39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?
I pretty much have a favorite thing about everywhere I've ever been. I'll let you know after Hawaii.

40. DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD?
I sure do. There used to be thing place on Country Club and about Main in Mesa...It was called Fong's or Wong's....it had the greatest hot and spicy soup and weird little pork things...mmm, it's been forever since I've had any of it, but I still crave it.

42. IS YOUR ROOM CLEAN?
We're still unpacking from Arizona.

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?
Both...preference?: laptop

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?
Eh, I don't know.

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
No, I might die if I did.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES ON?
Depends.

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?
Jake.

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?
They sure can.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
3.

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Pancakes.

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?
No

52. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Not Scrambled...and only the whites...unless they're deviled.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?
I read my horoscope...though am not quite sold on what it has to say.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Jake

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?
My mom...I'm waiting til 9 to call her back.

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?
One from Parker asking if I was having a good time in AZ.

57. MCDONALDS OR BURGER KING?
Is there any question? Burger King, hands down...though I did have a BigMac last night for dinner....it has nothing on the Whopper.

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?
1.

59. WHAT ARE YOU HEARING RIGHT NOW?
The humm of the computer.

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC OR SONG.
Moon River:
Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J SANDWICH?
Grape.

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?
A little teeny tiny bit.

63. DO YOU KNOW HOW TO SWIM?
Yes.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Lately: Oatmeal Raisin

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
Yes! They're one of my favorite things. Someday I'd like a whole room full of them. I'd spend hours and hours looking to see where everything is.

66.TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF?
I want 7 children...here are their names...sort of...
Jacob Benjamin (Ben)
Cora Adeline Grace
Atticus Zebidee
Magnolia Kate
Maddox Oliver
Alyvia Isabella
Tyne Delight.

67 DO YOU MISS SOMEBODY RIGHT NOW?
I think I might always be missing someone.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?
Yes.

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
All of them...I love the sun and sweaters.

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
I laugh at just about everything....What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
7:30

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?
Sweaters and hot chocolate...and snow.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?
April 2004...for failure to yield. I really just didn't see the red light.

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?
Nerd...a cat....a black cat with green eyes.

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?
I'm pretty sure they're awfully cool.

77. WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING?
Reading.

78.WHAT IS THE THIRD LETTER OF YOUR NAME?
i.

80. HOW OLD ARE YOUR PETS?
I don't really have any.

81: WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BACKPACK?
A silvery blue. It's a great color.

82. ARE YOU SICK?
No...always allergies, but that's not new...or sick.

83. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL?
Yes.

84. IS THE BATHROOM OPEN?
Yes....that's a funny way to ask the question.

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?
No.

86. ARE YOU WATCHING MTV?
No.

87. ARE YOU SMILING?
I was biting my lip when I read this.

88. DO YOU HAVE ON EYELINER?
No.

90. ARE YOU BLONDE?
Yes.

91. DO YOU HAVE A MYSPACE?
Yes.

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?
No.

93. DO YOU Like someone??
I like lots of people...and am very in love with one someone.

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
You've seen my list.

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?
My newest one is brown with a sort of 60's flower print on it. I also have a red one with light blue flowers on it.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?
Yes. Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be a teacher because I can't imagine my life not revolving around a school year.

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?
Last month...no, this month, yes.

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?
No. I don't know that I'd like a cruise as much as just being somewhere...maybe....

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
Yes.

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?
Yes.

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Super Bargain Finder BrieAnn

Super Bargain Finder BrieAnn

Today is my study day, not just today, but all Tuesdays. I did write a paper today, that I am proud of, and can say that I am not behind, but cought up, which is good, but being ahead might be a little better. Instead of using this study day to its full advantage here is what I have done:

I found like record cheap tickets to Hawaii, and I bought them. Yep, that's right, it's official, Jake and I are going to be in Hawaii July 14-August 1. I already have my swimsuit and everything...maybe I'll take two! Muah ah ah. So while Jake is taking part in the music festival, I hope to spend as much time at the beach as possible....And I also want to spend as much time writing as possible!

Aside from Hawaii, which is terribly exciting, I had a chocolate shake, This wasn't just any chocolate shake, it was like creamy chocolate syrup. MmmmHmmm. First I wanted my oatmeal cookie shake, but they didn't have that kind of ice cream....so in my dismay I asked what the most "chocolatey" ice cream was...the man looked perplexed and I said, "I'll just have a chocolate shake." He said, "I can put some chocolate syrup in, too." I exitedly shook my head in agreement. It was great.

So Arizona was a blast. We redid my parents' kitchen. It turned out really nice. I can't wait for them to fix the rest of their house up, and I really can't wait for my own fixer-upper. Aside from the good times with family, I was a little sad I didn't see many people. I didn't have a lot of time this trip, but still. I brought something for Sarah Keller that I didn't even call her to arrange possibly picking up, but I did spot her mom's house while hiking in the Superstitions. That was really fun. We didn't make it all the way to Flatiron because, lets face it, I'm not in the best shape anymore. I think if we would have brought some food we might have made it. Where we ended up was beautiful though. I can't wait for Jake to see the top. I was impressed with how much of it I ran down (I know, down is down, but running is still running). I miss running in the desert....there's something about the ground. All of the tan, fine pebbles I suppose.

Hmm, anything else? I guess I can save whatever else I might be thinking of for a later time.

I just had a thought....When I'm a teacher, in a little over a year, I wonder if my students will find me on myspace...that might be a little weird, huh?

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Johari Window

Tell me what you think...

http://kevan.org/johari?name=BrieAnn+Lund+Johnson

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Mmmm--Hm

So today was my very first piano lesson. IT'S ABOUT TIME! I'm taking them from this gal who we go to church within exchange for watching her baby while she accompanies a few voice lessons at my school. What I will be practicing this week: The fingering for the C major scale as well as a hymn, "I Know My Father Lives." I'm going to be an amazing church organist one of these days, you just wait and see.

What I'm really excited about in all of this is the freedom to put my poetry to music. More than being a poet, I love the idea of combining both music and writing. First song cycle, here I come!

School is school. It's going. I really do enjoy my classes this semester. I have one or two that I fear may end up being duds, but when you're taking 20 hours, one or two duds isn't too big of a deal...only that I must endure them when I wish I was doing something else.

I've been checking out grad schools. Two of the three definitely have a fast track masters - I can get it done in a calendar year. That will be excellent. The Schools: The University of Rochester (NY), University of Michigan, and the University of Colorado @ Boulder. The latter of the two are the ones with the definite fast master's plan, that's uncovered anyway.

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random blabber and a question that I need your help with

So you know that awkward time when you look up from your computer screen and it's gone from light to dark inside and you haven't even noticed...? I just turned on a light.

Some good news and some bad news: Phoenix ranks in the top 25 for fittest cities (according to an article on aol), however, Mesa ranks on the 25 worst. The Mesa part drives a stake through my heart, sort of. Oklahoma City was also on the worst side, and Tulsa made the best side...another weird rivalry between the two.

The semester is off to a good start even though I feel more connected to work than my classes. I really love my classes, but last semester they were all I had, so I was in them full force - this semester I'm enjoying the contrast.

Yesterday I went jean shopping and came out victorious! Express was having a sale and I got a pair for 19.99 that don't smash my bottom or cling to my thighs, YES!. I also tried on a pair at A&F...bad idea. I found a pair that looks beautiful on, but yeah, I totally don't want to pay as much as they cost...even though the fit would be totally worth it....they were the "Madison" kind.

So the big question (and you'd better not jump to any conclusions): Jake and I are going to name our first daughter Kora, however I can't decide if I like it better with a "C" or a "K." Anytime before now I would have been completely set on "K," but I've been thinking about it a little more and am not so firm in my ways...let me know...Kora or Cora...Thanks! Oh, and in its entirety, her name will be C/Kora Adeline Grace.

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Tuna Casserole

So Jake and I were making some tortellini, cheese tortellini that is - basically a blank canvas. When I was contemplating what sauce I should use, I got a craving for, of all things, tuna casserole. I put in some Velveeta, some milk, tuna, and salt and pepper to taste. It was delightful! I was one of those kids who hated the very mention of tuna casserole, so to crave it now is one of those funny little ironies.

This has been a great week. We have two years of marriage under our belt, one less apartment to pay for, and a surprise amount of money. It turns out that my leftovers after my tuition is paid for at the end of each semester have been building up since Fall of '04. I still can't believe it! I had no idea - I thought I was barely breaking even. At any rate, it means that Jake and I are coming/going to Arizona for Spring Break. YAY for the two hikes I've been wanting to go on. If anyone in Arizona is interested in hiking with us, let me know. I haven't seen a lot of people for quite some time...and even if you don't want to hike, I'd like to see you sometime while I'm there.

Last night I read about the beheading of John the Baptist. It's weird how you know most of the bible stories, but reading through them reminds you of the little details that the overall memory leaves out. It made me sad. I think that betrayal has to be just about the worst thing ever. It's an extra stab through the heart when you've opened yourself up to, well, to anything really, to a person, a belief, an ideal, and you are betrayed by it.

School starts on Monday, bluh! We're the only university I know of that only has 3 weeks off for winter breaks. I can feel it wrapping up though, and with that firmly in mind I say, "Make it two weeks!" Yeah right, I like sleeping in. Oh well.

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